Am I Insane Yet?
by CaitVamp
Summary: Prussia has given himself up to Russia to protect his brother, but will he end up regretting the decision? Or is he able to find the soft spot that's hidden from everyone inside the large nation? The setting is during/right after World War II. It is rated T for now, but there will be smut later on ! This was inspired by another author and this has more backstory to it.
1. Upon Arrival, A Few Months

_**So this is something that I have wanted to write ever since I have read "Insanity of the Mind," by The Futile Vinny. I was moved by it, and asked for permission to do a spin-off of it. You know, more detail and some backstory. I got the idea approved by the author so now here it is~! Credit for the inspiration goes to the original author of course! There will be more, so no worries~ And just as a heads up, there will be plenty of violence, but no rape, I swear!**_

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Russia chuckled as he looked down at the nation before him, smirking at the fact of how pathetic he looked. The once strong nation was now on his knees, giving himself up to Ivan. The albino refused to look up at him, only the thought of his brother on his mind. His body was battered and bloodied from the wars and it seemed like his wounds were healing ever so slowly now. He just wanted to keep his brother from being hurt any more, and didn't want to lose him. The war was close to an end, and it seemed like he was going to lose him anyways to the Allies.

"Пруссия~ This is definitely something unexpected of you, да~?" Ivan spoke up as he gave the other a cold glare. "Sacrificing yourself for your brother, you should know that it is too late."

His words pierced through Gilbert's heart, however he did not flinch. He knew that this would keep Ivan from ever touching his baby brother. He refused to say anything as he kept his eyes on the white and red snow.

"You seem so weak now~ Maybe if I shoot you once more, would you die?" the Russian asked with an insanely childish grin as he raised up his Nagant M1895.

Gilbert weakly looked up, his crimson eyes filled with defeat and he mustered up he will to mutter, "Bruder vill be after you if you kill me now..."

Russia cocked his head to the side as he considered it, then kneeled down in front of the ex-nation. "I think that stealing you from him would be perfect revenge then, да?" His amethyst eyes were filled with hate as he held Prussia's chin in-between his thumb and forefinger, resting the side of the gun against the albino's chest.

He couldn't even put together a glare for the Russian as he felt his chest tighten at the thought of not seeing his brother again. He had raised him to be a strong nation, and just hoped that he would pull through whatever the others had in store for him.

He was knocked out of his stupor when he heard a shot and felt a sharp pain in his side. He couldn't hold back a pained cry as he just sat there, unable to do anything to protect himself.

~~~~~Time Change~~~~~

Gilbert Beilschmidt woke up with a startled shout as he bolted up into a sitting position. His heart was pounding in his chest as tears were running down his face. He furiously rubbed his eyes to get rid of the trailing droplets and pulled his knees towards himself, wrapping his arms around them as he rested his chin on them. _'Gott verdammt...' _he thought as he felt the empty loneliness in his heart, aggravated at himself for showing weakness, even if no one else was there.

He had been brought to Ivan's estate in Russia after he passed out from blood loss and was given to Lithuania to be taken care of until he could regain consciousness.

Russia then proceeded back to his office and set the pistol in a drawer of his desk. He however still kept on his long coat, bloodied for the fighting. Sitting down on his chair, he glanced at his door before pulling out some stationary and an envelope. He took out a pen and began writing a letter to his enemy.

"привет, Mr. Beilschmidt,

This war has gone on long enough and it is time for it to end. Your dear brother is now in my possession and your territory now belongs to the other Allies for the time being. You brother kindly offered to give himself up in order to protect you. How sickeningly cute, да? It will be inevitable for you to get him back.

Oh, and don't worry~ I'll take good care of him.

Ivan Braginski"

Russia set the pen down and leaned back in his chair, relaxing. He put the letter in the envelope and called out Estonia's name.

A small knock at the door and it opened, revealing the nervous-looking nation. "Yes, sir?" he asked a little shakily as he hesitantly walked in.

"Could you please go deliver this to the почтовый ящик?" Russia requested, not noticing the shiver than ran through Estonia and held out the letter. The nation just nodded as he came forward and took the envelope from the man's hand and left the room, closing the door behind him. Russia smiled and looked over to a small clock on his desk, then slowly closed his eyes as he drifted off into sleep. He didn't think that too much would happen while he was asleep.

~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~

Gilbert refused to go back to sleep, not wanting to see the nightmares that haunted him. Lithuania insisted for him to get some sort of rest, but the ex-nation just wouldn't listen, continuously being stubborn. Lithuania sighed, seeing how useless it was and just left the tray of food on the small table next to Prussia's bed.

After hearing the door close, and the dreading click of the lock, he shuddered and glanced over at the food. Borscht, again. He stuck out his tongue at it but finally gave in for what seemed like an hour later, and ate everything that was on the plate. It wasn't the same cooking as his brother's, or the exquisite taste of Francis's, but it was food. It wasn't as if his captor was starving him.

However Prussia couldn't shake the feeling that something awful was heading his way. He just hoped that he wold live through it.

'_Of course I'll live through it. I'm the Awesome Prussia~!' _he thought and let out a light chuckle. He did his best to shake the strange suspicion and pulled his eyes away from the door, realizing that he was staring at it in expectancy. He sighed and laid back down, closing his eyes only to hear a loud slamming noise as he was lifted off the bed.

His eyes shot open and his face quickly shifted into his cocky smirk when he realized that the intimidating man in front of him was his captor, Russia. The aura around the furious nation could almost have been seen as his violet eyes had grown darker from scorn.

Prussia would never admit that he was feeling a little panicky and did his best to keep a mask of indifference as he broke the few-minute silence. "Morgen, Russia. Has mein Bruder kicked your Commie rear yet?"

He immediately regretted saying that when he felt a sharp pain in his arm and his head knocked into the wall when he was thrown to the side. He groaned quietly in pain as he slowly looked up at the seemingly large nation. "нет, little Gilbert. In fact, your brother seems to be having his own troubles trying to recuperate from the war," Russia said with such a frighteningly calm tone that a glimpse of fear shone in Prussia's eyes.

Before he knew it, he was lifted from the ground with the nation's hand around is neck, having it crushed ever so slightly. He felt a vise-like grip on his arm and screamed out in pain when he head a sickening pop of his shoulder dislocating out of the socket. The hand around his throat tightened and his cry was cut off, causing him to cough and choke. Gilbert felt some of his resolve break as he saw the tinges of satisfaction in Russia's eyes from the scream. He didn't ask for the pain to stop since he had too much pride left to do so.

He was tossed onto the floor and regrettably looked up, spotting the pipe that Russia usually carried with him. He saw the swing of the pipe shoot down and the last thing he felt before passing out was spikes of pain on his skull.

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Translations~

Russian:  
Пруссия - Prussia  
да - Da - Yes  
привет - Privet - Hello  
почтовый ящик - pochtovyy yashchik - mailbox (This one was kind of a random thing I wanted to add)

German:  
(mein) Bruder - (My) Brother  
Morgen - Morning (Good Morning)


	2. In Pain, Hesitant Help

_**Hallo again! I am trying to update as often as I can~ I hope you enjoyed the previous chapter, so get ready for this one!**_

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Russia stormed out of the room and felt a little less tense. That's what he needed; a little stress reliever. Especially since Germany and his whole country was starting to cause some trouble by the wall. He wondered if Prussia had felt the division that separated Germany and Pru- well, West and East Germany.

The Baltics made sure to stay out of the nation's way, keeping to the edges of the hall and trying to keep from causing any attention to themselves. They did not want to be in the path of Russia's rage and did their best to look as if they were doing something that won't cause Russia to point any of his anger at them.

After he was sure that the large nation was gone, Lithuania turned to make his way over to where Prussia was being kept. He had only taken a step when a cold voice echoed down the hall. "If you go in there to help him in any way, know that you won't wake up tomorrow, да~" Russia threatened with a glare from one end of the hallway.

The nation shivered as he quickly retraced his steps and hurried by the other two Baltics. He walked past them and into the kitchen to start on a meal. Latvia looked up at Estonia and asked simply, "Why didn't he help him anyways?" Estonia only shook his head at the small boy and answered with, "If he did, Toris wouldn't be there to make anymore meals. He would be in the same state as other people who have been killed by the hands of Russia."

The boy didn't say anything else as he looked down at his feet, being quiet for once. He did not want to lose Toris, nor did he want anything to befall any of them. Both he and Estonia made their way over to different rooms, going back to doing the tasks they were supposed to have finished earlier in the day.

~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~

Prussia slowly opened his eyes, realizing that his body was sore all over. He took a shaky breath, a hand reaching up to feel that his neck was bruised. He eventually pushed himself up into a sitting position as he looked around and noticed that he was on the floor. He immediately clutched at his pounding head, getting the worst headache ever in this unawesome world. However he held back a whimper as he moved slowly over to the bed, using it to stand up without making any sudden movements to cause his headache to get worse.

He crawled onto the bed and looked down at himself, noticing some other bruises and cuts that haven't quite yet healed completely. His shoulder felt almost numb however and when he glanced over at it, he flinched as he remembered that it was dislocated. His other hand reached up and lightly tapped it, then winced by the brief jolt of pain.

He inspected other spots on his body as well that have grown to be discolored and sighed. Gilbert's thoughts went back to earlier when Russia had beat him, and grew really curious as to why the large nation took out his frustration on him. Couldn't he have let it out somewhere else...or someone other than him? No, he wouldn't degrade himself to that. He didn't want anyone else to be hurt, or harmed in the way by that Russian's hands.

Prussia sighed as he laid there, wondering what day it was, or what time it was, or how long he has been there. He was laying on his back and stared up at the ceiling, not caring that his wounds were healing every so slowly-almost as slow as a normal human's.

There was a soft rap at the door and he turned his head to look over, sensing that it wasn't Russia, but probably one of the other nations that lived here. Maybe it was one of the Baltics. It was usually Lithuania who would come in and feed him, insist that he should sleep, and act like a mother hen to him. It was nice and all, but Gilbert could feel that Toris shouldn't really be there, and was visiting him as discreetly as possible.

He didn't get the chance to answer the knock as the said nation hurriedly came in and quietly shut the door behind him. It was the same thing everyday, but when Lithuania raised his eyes to look at Prussia, he quickly made his way over to him as he set the small tray of food on the side table next to the bed. His brows creased and Prussia would have laughed at the concern that resided there...if he wasn't in pain.

After a few minutes of Lithuania changing and cleaning the bandages, he finally spoke up. "I really shouldn't be in here..." he mumbled quietly. "Russia might find out..." It almost sounded as if he was regretting it, although he really wanted to help the ex-nation.

"Toris...I hope you know that I really appreciate you looking after me, but I don't vant you to get hurt because of me," Prussia replied, flinching every now and then. Normally, he wouldn't show how weak he was or the pain the Russian has caused in front of anyone. But something about Lithuania put him at ease, and didn't make him worried about looking unawesome.

He only received a nod, then he muttered, "You should probably brace yourself..." Gilbert wasn't sure what he meant until he felt pain shoot up his shoulder and back, a sickening pop of his arm being placed back into the socket. He quickly covered his mouth to hide the scream that didn't even leave past the back of his throat. After the last bandage was tied, the nation stood up and pointed at the tray that was left there for Gilbert.

"You should really eat something, you know... I'll be back later for the dishes, or maybe send one of the other Baltics to get them." And with that, Lithuania silently left the room, closing the door behind him and made his way to another part of the house where hopefully Russia wouldn't bother him.

Prussia looked over at the food, then sighed as he carefully picked up the spoon, lifting it to his mouth. He took a whiff of it and scrunched up his nose, then unwillingly began eating. He didn't mind it the first few days, since it was at least something, but now it was almost unbearable and dreaded the next meal.

After it was all gone, he set the silverware back onto the tray and laid down on his good side-if 'good' could mean that it was less bruised or broken. He didn't want to, but he reluctantly closed his eyes and fell back asleep to the awaiting nightmares.

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Translations~

Russian:

да - Da - Yes

_**Thank you for reading! Again, I will try to put up more~! Have an awesome day!**_


	3. Wrong Room, Cautious Plan

It has been a couple of months later when Gilbert was finally allowed to walk around the mansion. Russia had let him, but under one condition. That was that he had to be back in his room by nightfall, where food would come to him instead of him going to the dining room to eat.

He spent whatever time he could by avoiding Russia and trying to memorize the floor plan of the large building. The first couple of days he would stay close by his room in fear of not making it back in time or getting lost. And yes, part of him was afraid of a meeting with the large nation. Most of the time, when he did see him, he couldn't control his mouth and would get brutally beaten for speaking out of turn, or being rude to him.

Then one day, he was walking through the other side of the mansion, his walk on the way over already memorized, when he noticed that a door was left ajar. He hasn't visited this side as often and walked quietly over to the door. Gilbert looked in and recognized a sleeping figure.

The Russian was passed out in his chair, his head had fallen onto his desk. Papers were strewn across the table and on the floor close by and a soft snoring could be heard from the nation. In one hand was an empty bottle of vodka, but he was not drunk in the least. The scarf he always wore was looser than normal and almost hung from his neck and shoulders, some skin on his neck barely showing.

He slowly and quietly crept into the room hesitantly, and looked down at the sleeping nation. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought that the nation looked at peace for once. A small smile grew on his face as he admired the shape of his jaw, the angle of his nose, and even how his blonde hair seemed to look so natural, even if it was mussed up. Without thinking, his hand moved over and stroked through Russia's hair, carefully brushing past knots without yanking on them to prevent from disturbing the nation's slumber.

He continued for a few minutes until he saw the large nation tense, then Gilbert's wrist was suddenly in a tight grip. Russia's eyes opened to reveal the violet shade as he awoke tiredly. He looked up at the nation, wondering why he was roused from his sleep. Still keeping his hand around the ex-nation's wrist, he stood and glared at Gilbert, the latter shrinking back slightly.

"What do you want, and why are you here?" he asked coldly, not liking the idea of being woken up.

Gilbert prevented a shiver as he looked away from Russia, but reluctantly glanced back at him, remembering that Russia had wanted him to keep eye contact when he was spoken to. "I-I just happened to stumble in here...and I just saw you sleeping and..." he trailed off, scared of what the nation will do to him.

Russia looked down at him, his head tilted slightly as if expecting more of an answer from the smaller person. "And?" he questioned, tightening his grip on Gilbert's arm painfully and smirked when he saw the other wince. "Were you planning something behind my back, or had thoughts of killing me?" Gilbert just shook his head quickly, denying anything that would get him into trouble.

"I swear! I vas only walking through the hallways, and was curious as to vhat vould be in zhis room, but found you!" he explained almost desperately. He didn't mean to sound so afraid; it was too unawesome of him. But he couldn't help it if he got close to death each time he crossed a line in front of his captor. Gilbert couldn't even do much and actually tried to keep a low profile while at the Russian's home.

Ivan pondered over this, noticing the frantic look in the ex-nation's scarlet eyes, which have faded ever so slightly since he had first arrived. He had trusted the smaller man to do what he was told, and had no reason to not believe him most of the time. He did what he was supposed to do, and his rebellious nature didn't come out as often as it had been. Even when he stood up to Ivan, there wasn't usually much confidence behind his words.

It seemed like a few moments had passed when the hand gripping Gilbert's arm loosened, leaving him shaking a little from anxiety. Russia let go and walked out of the room, off to search for more vodka as he left him, confused by the sudden change of heart.

After a few minutes, Gilbert finally regained his senses and hurried out of the study, with dignity and false cockiness, before the nation could come back. The man walked down the halls again, this time to return back to his room before it got too late. He knew that it took quite some time to go from one side of the manor to the other, so he did his best to remember the path he had taken.

It was strange, not seeing any one else in the place. But he sort of got used to the isolation and tried to ignore or care for it. Maybe one day, if the Russian will allow, he could go out into town and admire the sights or something. The thought of running away flashed through his mind but he quickly shook it off. He didn't want to be punished for doing something like that and had could already feel the dread of being caught.

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_**Author's note: I am so sorry...my ideas have been running low and I really needed to update this story. Sorry it's so short! Please review and ideas would be nice. I feel like I have disappointed some people, and please forgive me for that. School and band has taken up a lot of my time and I try to work hard and do my best. So here is the next chapter~! Translations won't be needed since it was only one word, and I have used it in the previous chapters. I promise that I will write a lot more than this, but that is if I have ideas for my next chapter.**_


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